Sales Pitch

I wrote up a sales pitch a few weeks ago to a friend who I hoped would join her sister to come and help rehab the house on a Saturday. Demolition is typically a tough sell for weekend fun, so I did my very best to make it sound attractive:

"I wanted to personally invite you to my house this Saturday and see if I can entice you with my sales pitch:
 * Coffee. If your sister buys you some? You wouldn’t want coffee made in my current kitchen.
* A luxurious couch! Well, it was luxurious 20 years ago. Now I wouldn’t recommend sleeping on it, but I’ll give you a screw driver set and a hammer and so you can disassemble it.
 * Strippers! 3 different kinds!! Of paint strippers. No one was willing to take their clothes off due to all the dust.
 * Vintage dust from 1913. This stuff is a rare.

All this and more await! ...How’d I do? I would be an honor and a blast to have you Saturday. I understand if you have more appealing offers, but seriously, I don’t’ know what you could possibly have planned that would beat this list. I do have a nice patch of grass you could lay in. But you might have to dodge the buckets of dirty water being frequently dumped over the back porch. You’re invited!"

Shockingly she came! Said it was the strippers that got her. And she made short work of the couch to boot. 

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